Steward Exalted (Part 1): Flying Alone and Going Snow Blind

"A great many people, and more all the time, live their entire lives without ever once sleeping out under the stars."

-Alan S. Kesselheim

Thanksgiving has passed along with numerous events of live music, dancing, laughing, and general merriment. Work has continued to challenge all of us on station and has waned spirits. At this point, my work ethic has begun to suffer and I have become less enthusiastic about being in Antarctica washing dishes and scrubbing toilets. There has been a number of disagreements with community members and coworkers alike which has led to a clear "I don't give two shits" attitude. The holidays will play their role in the saddening of spirits along with the complacency of doing monotonous, seldom appreciated work. Such attitudes will typically go repressed and unacknowledged but somehow I got lucky, once again, and deemed worthy of a trip! Most of my compatriots were able to attend the Happy Camper course, luckily, but most everyone was in the same, if not, more deserving boat of special trips. I appreciate the opportunity for further exploration but there was strange favoritism for me.

West Antarctic Ice Sheet (WAIS Divide):

WAIS (WD) is about 900 miles away from McMurdo Station (RI).

Antarctica is divided into an east and west ice sheet but it isn't down the middle like most would assume. The Transantarctic Mountains mark the dividing line between east and west; the east being far bigger than the west but the west having more snowfall. WAIS Divide is located on the western side (duh) in an area where the winds essentially split into two directions. Since the western side gets more snow we have this phenomenon where snow will accumulate throughout the year and the wind will push it down into a thin layer of ice. This allows our scientists to not only be able to count backward into the past by counting layers but to also take readings of each layer, giving them access to gasses trapped in the ice. By testing the gasses, scientist are able to gain information about the atmosphere from, oh say, 18,000 years ago. Pretty wild, right? But that's science. Mysterious, beautiful science. The drill-site known as the Arch is placed just above where the snow drifts in opposite directions because snow will pack downward and not laterally. Once you begin to move away from the divide, the packed snow begins to shift, losing consistency of layers. The science done here is so awesome!

While in McMurdo, I had dunked my hands into a few celebratory soups for the holidays; from hot chocolate and games on Christmas to a dance performance on New Year's. So when I was approached about going to WAIS Divide (a place I hadn't heard of at this point) I was a little hesitant. After getting a little information and thinking about it for a few minutes I sent out the email that agreed to be at a field camp for the holidays. 

There were flight manifest forms around station that had me as the only passenger on the flight and I thought, "Surely there will be someone else."

Wrong.

It was just lil' ol' Tom and the flight crew. It was awesome. I stretched out across multiple seats, walked all over the place, checked out the cockpit, and got my first taste of snow blindness. 

The atmosphere around Antarctica is thin. It's so thin we have to wear sunscreen and sunglasses at all times to protect our skin and eyes from serious damage. The sun is intense but it gains intensity when it bounces off the ice and into our faces. Long exposure to the sun will result in sunburned eyes. 

That's right, sunburns on your eyes! 

Well, while walking around the aircraft I found a small window near the back and glanced out of it without sunglasses on (because they were back at my seat). It kind of hurt but the scene outside was breathtaking. There were thick clouds and ice in areas all around and I watched as the line between them became blurry. After a few minutes I couldn't tell if I was looking at snow or cloud, which was earth or sky. Once I got my fill I looked away, back into the LC-130 and noticed that I couldn't see anything. 

A moment of panic set in and I knew I was blind.

I began thinking about how my life would be from now on. I just got a real, disabling injury. Everything was going to be harder from here on out. I would be removed from Antarctica and left to figure out how the blind make a living. 

I stood there for a few minutes before I decided it was about time to call for help when my sight began to return! 

Oh happy days! 

I stood there for another minute or two and I could see people on the far end of the plane and decided to return to my seat and keep it cool. On my way back I looked at the window from a safe 20 feet away and it hurt my eyes intensely. So I put on my UV protective goggles for the rest of the day and didn't tell anyone for a few weeks.

Another sign stolen from the interweb

Upon disembarking the aircraft my image of what Antarctica was expected to look like finally came into fruition. A plane parked next to a long line of small buildings, evenly spaced, surrounded by miles of white ground and blue sky. The light wind was rattling the fabric sides of the buildings and lifting small streaks of snow slightly off the ground while pushing them around my feet. While marching in wonderment from the plane I was intercepted by the two ladies in charge of camp, Kaija and Beth. I received a warm welcome and a tour from Beth while Kaija dealt with aircraft off-load. 

Being the facilities coordinator, Beth showed me the buildings one by one. The first building is the communications office where you can find three tiny desks, an iridium phone, and some radios. A short walk away is the Galley or Where-Tom-will-Spend-Most-Of-His-Time-Tent. There are two rows of tables perpendicular to the wall reaching to the back kitchen area. The tabled area has a dome-tent over it causing small amounts of snow-drift at the base of the wall. The kitchen is a small, square building that is sealed on three sides with an open front to allow easy access from kitchen to dining area. Here I met the kitchen manager, Michelle, who lined out what my first day would look like. 

Next door is the medical building which might house 4 people at once if they are all standing up with their arms to their sides. 

The next building in line is the second most important building, the wash module/hang out room. The first half of the building is a lounge with a television, DVDs, two computers, various books, 8lb weights duct taped together for the beefcake squad, and couches. The second half is the bathing area which has a few sinks, a couple of showers, and a place to store your toothbrush etc. Each shower head has a little button to cut the water off to maximize water efficiency. Rinse, lather entire body and pretend to be the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, rinse, boom 2-5 minutes of water usage.

The final building is a Jamesway, a heated building where people can claim a cot and hope no one else snores. Beth asked if I wanted to stay in the Jamesway and I all but said, "Hell no." So we decided to set up a tent in which I would reside. 

Itty bitty tiny WAIS Divide camp

Sleeping on the ground in Antarctica seems crazy (and it is) but something about it really brought joy to my heart. Maybe it was the transition from being alive to LIVING. We set down two triwalls which are triple layered cardboard boxes and put the tent on top of that. On the inside I had two foam pads, a sleeping bag, and a sleeping bag liner. Even with all of that there were nights where I had to sleep fully clothed with a warm water bottle. But there were also times where I woke up sweating and had to open both doors of my tent to vent some air. 

Afterwards, I went to the galley and helped out with the dinner shift and met most everyone at WAIS, including a few people I knew from McMurdo. Now all I had to do was get a good night's rest and be ready for tomorrow's adventures!

Happy Camper: Ice Graves and Bucket Heads

"We do not see nature with our eyes, but with our understandings and our hearts" 

 -William Hazlett

Surviving in the Antarctic wilderness is difficult. It's so hard, we have to go through (at minimum) three different courses/orientations about how to not die and how to recognize when your friends are dying. These videos/lectures all but say, "If you die, it's your own fault." 

Lucky for me, I work in the Galley and other indoor areas where I don't have to worry about dying constantly. 

Well in Antarctica there is a special little course out there that teaches individuals about how to survive, should you get stranded or some other insane situation that isn't actually that uncommon on this continent. In this 30 hour course, you'll learn things like:

1. How to set up an emergency shelter with the use of ice blocks.
2. How to build an emergency ice trench, in which to sleep.
3. How to set up a Scott Tent (tents so durable the big bad wolf couldn't blow them over).
4. How to make water from snow (science).
5. Judging how bad your friend's hypothermia is and how to treat it.
6. And finally, how to find the bathroom with a bucket on your head.

Guess what kids! Your good friend Tom gets to try his hand at camping in your favorite icy dessert: Antarctica! But that's not all! On this adventure we get another visit from Morgan Seag! Hurray!

                      *          *          *

After Winfly ended we were thrown into the baptismal fires of Main Body with nowhere to keep us safe. I don't know if you remember but we had around 300 people for Winfly and now we were bumping up towards 950 over the course of three days. 

Tears were shed. 

One night, we closed down the galley as usual and the following morning we were outnumbered by 5 newly arrived trainees per one of us, which only meant we were going to look at an insane training week (or two). I did not have to train anyone up to this point and my first assignment of the day was to train three people at the same time while others took other new Stewards and did the same. I remember looking over and seeing Morgan with 7 people wandering around the dining room looking all kinds of frazzled. 

That poor woman.

Welp, somehow we survived! I also don't know who had the say in this, but someone thought it would be great if Morgan and I were rewarded for our efforts (despite there being about 8 others who worked just as hard as we did during training, but whateves). This was one of those, "Don't brag or really tell anyone about this." Kind of things.

Photo stolen from the internet without permission. Sorry Fernando.

I really didn't know what I was in for and the trip was far better than I could have ever imagined. We met in the Science Support Center (SSC for short, duh) for a quick discussion on what we were doing and where we were going then sent back to our rooms because no one brought appropriate gear. Upon our return we piled into a passenger delta but while my back was turned, the driver invited all of my friends to ride in the front and left me in the back. Normally this wouldn't be an issue but the crowd was of a different generation and were all very excited. Which, again, is normally alright but this particular group was unbelievably annoying in this case. Ugh. But the ride was only a tiresome 45 minutes until we were free (thanks J-Rod). 

Upon liberation we were then instructed to pile our gear onto long red sleds (siglin sleds) so we can drag them down to where the course would begin. 

In regard to gear vs. people: 
Each person needed X amount of gear and here is a summary of what we had to haul.

1. Bag (per person) with issued parka, wind-pants, bunny boots, fleece jacket, fleece pants, hat, inner glove layer, outer glove layer (leather), neck gaiter, balaclava, extra socks, camera,  and water. Average weight: 30 lbs
2. Sleep kit (per person) with 2 layers of foam, -20 degree sleeping bag, fleece sleeping bag inner layer, small pillow, and pee bottle. Average weight: 18 lbs
3. Mountain tent (per 2 people). Average weight: 17 lbs
4. Scott tent (2 total). Average weight: 46 lbs each
5. Kitchen bag with 2 pots for water, 12 travel coffee cups, 12 spoons, 2 whisper lite stoves, 4 24oz containers of fuel, 2 wooden cutting boards, 20 freeze dried meals, and 15lbs of snacks and drinks. Weight of bag: 42 lbs (roughly).
6. Bag full of ice axes, handsaws, shovels, and bamboo flags. Weight of bag: 23 lbs

If I can still math, that's a total of 839 lbs for the 12 of us. Lucky for us, our instructors had two snow machines to haul the sleds full of gear, we just schlepped our personal bags.

So you and your friends are newly marooned in Antarctica and you're getting cold. First thing's first, build a wall out of ice! This involves getting a regular ol' saw and sawing out three sides in the ice (which is a couple hundred feet thick in this specific area) and pop out the block with a shovel. This will give you perfect, little ice blocks that are great for stacking and constructing.

When you throw 12 people at a project they've never done before, results can look questionable.

Once we finished our first project, we were able to divide into groups and build a beautiful camp in which to live (for a night). One group made a kitchen which needed another ice wall with sides and platforms to cook upon. Another group set up the two Scott tents which are about 15 feet tall and have enormous anchors. And the last group set up the normal mountain tents (always good practice). I have no idea how long this process took but once we were done, Morgan and I were able to work on our special project.

BOOM! Not only did we make ice trenches but we made them next to each other so we could carve out a window on the inside to pass snacks and to say goodnight.

So, an ice trench is a "last ditch effort (heh)" of survival out in the field. Every person needs to have a survival bag with them when they are so far away from a camp or McMurdo and when the winds are too rough and you need to spend multiple hours before rescue, you can dig into the ice and rest there! It is also a good idea to put flags at the head and feet of your ice tomb so no one gingerly walks over/into your sleeping module while searching for your lifeless corpse.

It's crazy, I know but it's so cool. 

Digging an ice grave is exciting when you actually get to sleep in it. The only issue is that when you get ready for bed every move you make knocks snow into your sleeping bag until you are secured and zipped up. It is also very unsettling to move ice blocks over your only means of escape (and air if you're claustrophobic). I got the honor of closing Morgan into her icy tomb just before closing my own.

At some point, one of the trainers called dinner time and we got to experience what freeze dried food tastes like when it expired in 1978 (not even joking). We were told to bring something for ourselves if we want something extra but who would pass up on such ancient cuisine? I had Teriyaki Turkey...

Dinner was pretty much the end of it all and we were sent off to bed. I thought it would be a pretty simple night of sleeping outdoors but the weather had different plans for us. 

Do you remember the different Condition ratings? Here's a refresher:

• Condition 3: All is good in the world. Run and Play.
• Condition 2: Visibility is bad, wind is bad, get inside.
• Condition 1: Oh god, oh god, we're all gonna die.

After saying goodnight and drifting off into a wonderful outdoor sleep I realized that I had to make pee-pees. So I got myself ready and aimed to make a break for the outhouse nearby. But when I moved the ice blocks from the top of my icy bedroom I noticed something; it was looking a lot like a Condition not 3 out there. I could no longer see the flag at the foot of my cave and the wind had produced a strong snow drift around the blocks that were used to seal me in. This was one of those, "No thanks, bye." Moments and I retreated back into bed and learned how hard, yet beneficial it is to use a pee bottle in cold conditions. Oh yes, beneficial. Normal body temp is 99.5 degrees F and so when you capture human liquid in a bottle it is great to put at the foot of your sleeping bag to keep you warm. It feels great, just make sure that lid is tight!

After a few rounds of "Sleeping in the screaming wind while contemplating the possibility of actually being trapped" we woke to a morning of not crazy winds but crazy flat white which is something to witness. When visibility is flat it is hard to gauge how far anything is. The scenery looks like you're staring into a white wall. I could see a footprint in the snow a few feet in front of me but once I started walking towards it I found out that it was at least 15 paces away.

After a quick breakfast, we needed to break things down to leave no trace, as the saying goes, which is so fun. After pulling our things out of the icy trenches, we used some karate chops, boot stomps, and shovel stabs to fill our homes. We broke down our ice block walls in similar manners with the inclusion of throwing ice blocks every which-a-way. 

We then retreated to a nearby warming hut for a little classroom talk and the legendary bucket head challenge! 

This is to simulate what it would be like to be in a dreaded Condition 1 where visibility is zero (which actually happens) where you can't see the hand in front of your face and the wind is so strong you can't hear anything. The simulation: Someone is at the outhouse and the weather turned. Retrieve your compatriot with a bucket on your head! We had the use of a rope and 5 teammates. We chose to tie a person off every 10 feet and make a straight line for the bathroom aiming slightly to the right so we could sweep to the left if necessary. I volunteered to lead the pack. I don't know the last time you've had a bucket on your head but it sure is disorientating. We took about half an hour to walk 40-50 feet but we found the outhouse and rescued our imaginary friend!

We finished our class and made our way back to McMurdo as a big group of sleepy babies, back from our first camping trip away from the backyard. Once back in station, it was back to business as usual for a while but with fond memories and new skills. Happy Camper was one of the most memorable moments in my Antarctic career.

Castle Rock: A Rock That Looks Like A Castle But...Like...Better

"Never fear quarrels, but seek hazardous adventures."
    -Alexandre Dumas, The Three Musketeers 

Anyone who knows what it feels like to put hard hours into a location will tell you that they don't want to hang out where they work. Well in Antarctica, work, home, and social gathering points are generally the same place (especially if you work in the Galley). The only way to solve this problem is to "get out of town" which is a limited device but one worth the while. 

Hazards of the Antarctic Wilderness:
Antarctica is constantly trying to kill its inhabitants, that's sort of why no one really lives there (also no one is allowed to). That and the fact that if we were to adjust the land to suit our needs, we would destroy it quickly (but let's not get into talk about the Treaty). 
There are many things items that are in play when it comes to Antarctica's homicidal desires. The ozone layer above the continent is nearly gone making the air very dry and the rays of the sun more harmful than in other areas of the world. 
There is a lot of wind convergence across the continent making the weather difficult to predict and sporadic. 
The place is covered in snow, making it extremely cold (I know, duh, right?)but it also makes surfaces slippery, the snow can suck the heat out of your body, and there are crevasses EVERYWHERE (giant cracks in the ice that go down hundreds of feet/meters).
With all of that said you can guess that hiking and getting away from station is very hard and pretty dangerous. There are a few hikes available to the general public and the one that gets you the furthest away is known as Castle Rock Loop. Castle Rock is 7 miles round trip or 6 miles if you go out to the rock and come back (very popular option). There is a flagged route and two "Apples" which are round, red shelters that have blankets, food, reading material, and a book to write a quick blurb about your hike. 
Being that this hike will take a few hours there are certain procedures that must be adhered to before departing.
1. The hike must be cleared to be hiked by the firehouse (which is easy to find out).
2. You must bring at least one friend, no solo hikes out there.
3. Each party must have at least one radio to communicate with the firehouse
4. You must check out with the firehouse, giving them how many people are going, when you are leaving and coming back, and who is leading the trip.

Once everything is squared away you can pack and head out on the hike! People bring a lot of things that makes it seem like a multi-day hike but it's only like 4 hours. You want to dress in layers due to the changing weather, bring plenty of water and food, hand and toe warmers, eye protection, gloves, neck gaiters, hats, extra socks, sturdy boots, and a camera.

Unreliable Friends Can Make For Memorable Nights
After a few grueling nights of closing down the Galley and getting drunk immediately afterwards we desired to alter our schedule for our general health. Being that I was restricted to working as a PM Galley slave I had a lot of time to talk to Morgan Seag, the Galley's captain and fearless leader. This girl is accomplished in many aspects of life and still answered the call to captain a ship full of dirty dishes and a group of not-so-willing, soggy individuals. After a few conversations we decided to try and put together a group of people to run out to Castle Rock to brighten moods and experience the Antarctic wilderness. We alerted the troops during a stretch break and gave times with details of equipment needed for our multi-hour outdoor excursion. Once we were done with work, Morgan and I ran to our rooms and began packing. I realized that I had no idea what to pack for and started doubting everything I put on and decided to just bring it all. Once somewhat packed and ready to leave I ran over to Morgan's room and the news began of people dropping out. Her roommate is a lovely being known as Alicia Sutherland and though she is extremely social and a hell of a singer she was the first to abandon us. After a short discussion about gear we left for our meet spot of the hand washing station in the main building. The two of us were late and thought there would be a group waiting on us and we could leave immediately but after waiting for 15 minutes we decided that it would be best to just go without any of the lazy unappreciative sacks of Stewards who failed to show up (only joking, you guys are alright). 

Okay, now it's Morgan and myself with entirely too much gear trying to hustle our way up to the trail that will lead us to Castle Rock. Cool, right? Well mostly. I had no idea which direction the trail began and was a little bummed to see that it was up the only steep road in McMurdo Station. But you know, sometimes you gotta keep it cool and be like, "I'm new here, this person's cool, don't be a bitch." So after about 15 excruciating minutes of climbing up a 45 degree angle we reached the trail head. 

Hurrayyyy. Already sweaty and tired we were able to begin our hike. Keep in mind that we were on the cusp of summer so we were experiencing multi-hour sunsets and darkness for a short time. The horizon ahead of us was dark and full of stars but the scenery behind us was a miraculous view of a mountain range with a strip of light beaming across it. We stopped every few minutes to peer behind us and stood in awe of the scene. Seeing McMurdo Station from a distance put our lives back into perspective. Our little plot of land was a pin prick in the canvas of this continent and we were microbacteria on it's skin. There was plenty to talk about but we kept walking in silent contemplation, reflecting on what brought us here. The first apple shelter is about a mile from the trail and we took a moment to explore the insides. The shelter is a simple, red dome with a pile of stuff inside of it. Simple as that. We found the journal log inside and started reading other people's entries while thinking of our own. I can't remember what I wrote but I can guarantee it was unremarkable or just bad. 


The hut offered us shelter from the slight wind outside so we got ourselves to an appropriate temperature and headed back on the trail. After a while Morgan became very concerned with a cloud up above, saying it looks like an aurora. I looked at it and was fully convinced that it was a cloud and disregarded (I was under the impression the time had passed for auroras). Luckily, Morgan was very insistent and made us stop to fully investigate her suspicions. There was a long, wispy cloud that sat just above our heads that seemed to stretch for miles and after staring intently for a few minutes we saw the colors shine through and wrap around in a way that could only be an aurora. Not only was this my first aurora but I was now it the small group of people who have actually seen the southern lights. Of course they dissipated after a while and we were back on our way, gushing about how cool it was. But after a half hour or so the lights came back but this time it looked like a spotlight was shining from Castle Rock itself. No words were exchanged for a moment but we both were halted, mid-step, arms our as if we were going to protect one another from something bearing down on us. The only sound that could be heard was us gasping over and over again with words trying to be whoas and wows but coming out as elongated vowels. Once again, the light dissipated and we continued, now almost screaming about what had just happened. 

By now we were just about to the second apple shelter and stopped in for a quick refuel since the rock itself was within spitting range, looking all kinds of glorious. Later in the season there is a cleared and roped route that leads to the top of the rock but we were satisfied with wandering around the base, marvelling at the world before us. The last leg of the journey is at a slight incline that lets you see more of Antarctica than you could ever hope for. At our backs stood an enormous precipice looming above us while a wide horizon peppered with mountains on fire at one end by the sun, peaking from just below sight.

After a victory dance and a few cheesy, staged photos we began our return to station. The walk back had our typical bouts of silence but with a new energy. We were bouncing around on the inside with everything we had just seen and how alive we were feeling. McMurdo Station laid ahead of us the entire walk back but it didn't bring us any negative emotions about how hard we have been working and how much would be asked of us in the next coming weeks. We only spoke in excited tones about how cool it was that we were there and how we couldn't wait for the next adventure, living in the afterglow of our current endeavor.

Antarctica wasn't done with us just yet. On our way back Morgan asked for us to hold still for a few moments and not make a peep. It didn't take long to understand what she was trying to experience. The wind had completely settled and we were far enough away from anything that there was zero sound. The term "deafening silence" began to make more and more sense. As we stood there our ears began to ring; at first, very faintly but with every second it began to grow to a point where I had to make some noise to keep from going deaf. We repeated this a few times to make sure we weren't just crazy. Hearing nothing was one of the most interesting things to happen to me in my lifetime (thus far). 

Continuing, we looked to our left and saw another amazing site, nacreous clouds. We first couldn't tell where the snow ended and the sky began but then we saw that the clouds were rippling low across the sky, looking like someone was actively causing brush strokes in cream colored paint with accents of pink and green. I've been a big fan of clouds for a while now but I never knew they could dance with so much color and beauty. 

Just before we made the walk down Antarctica's steepest road, we took one last photo of how happy we were. 

Angry hikers, 2012.

Hut Point: The Coolest Place When I'm Drunk.

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
-Ernest Hemingway

While Winfly is still in effect there are the perfect amount of people on station, everyone pretty much gets along, and everyone kind of wants to hang out. It's a wonderful thing but it can keep you from getting out and seeing the scenery because the bars are fun, people are fun, and drinking is fun. The ideal situation would be to combine these two right? Not quite, well, at least it isn't good in theory. We're talking about someone intoxicating spending at least 30 minutes exposed to the harsh conditions of Antarctica. That's a recipe for disaster, for sure but it doesn't stop any of us.

The first time I decided to go to Hut Point was a suggestion from someone else. We were having a 5:31 Break (work ends at 5:30) where we tried out the first ever Shot-Mop. Someone had attached 4 shot glasses to the side of an unused mop giving the rare opportunity of janitor-themed group-activity drinking. So, needless to say, we all got annihilated before even getting to the bar. The details aren't all there but I don't think we actually made it to the bar and just hung out in a lounge putting some mileage on our new favorite drinking implement.

Well, after however much time had passed I told a friend that I hadn't been out to see any of the scenery yet and she thought that was completely unacceptable and told me to run to my room and get some warm clothes on. I obeyed these commands like any good boy would and we started trekking away from Station. See, this is where things get bad because once you leave station you realize what the weather is really like but when you're drunk there's no turning back. The winds were tossing us back and forth, we were cold IMMEDIATELY, and it was dark (the sun didn't set until 11pm so you know it was late). This is EXACTLY how people lose toes to frost bite and why you're suppose to let someone know you're going out. We were lucky on this adventure and didn't lose our natural balance to the weather and snow.

Getting to Hut Point should have made the adventure worth the risk but not today! We got to the spot and couldn't really see much. There was a small strip of light in the distance but the sky was covered by clouds, restricting our vision to nothing. It was also windy, so windy! There's a huge cross set out to commemorate someone who had lost their life in Antarctica and we sat underneath it to hide from the wind. It really didn't help at all so we just sat on the ground shivering and unable to see anything.

This journey only takes about 20 minutes of walking to get to Hut Point and became a regular occurrence in my drunk adventures.

A Hole In The Ice: A Guide To Staying Happy

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."
"I don't much care where -"
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go."
-Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland 

I'm gonna go ahead and stress this now so I don't have to do it later. The only way to stay happy and jolly at work is to stay busy and stay interested. It doesn't really matter how you reach these parameters but you can tell who isn't meeting them. Those people have no fuses and get mad about EVERYTHING. They can't take a joke, they don't smile, and they do weird things like smuggle WAY too many cookies out on cookie day or get super pissy when you sit at "their table" despite the fact that we have over 30 different tables in the dining room.

There is an unspoken expectation that everyone must take care of themselves (and those around them to a certain extent). There's countless opportunities to get involved in the community such as yoga class, knitting circles, movie nights, open mic night, and everyone's standby: drinking at the bar. And if group activities aren't your thing you can always go hiking, running, skiing, watch movies by yourself, read, paint, or the old standby (which isn't encouraged whatsoever): drinking alone. But sometimes people get so caught up in work that they need a little help from management to make them remember why they are where they are and to get the appreciation they need/deserve. This is where Boondoggles come into play.

Boondoggle: Make A Happy Smile!
I have no idea where they got this word or what it means but I'd like to think it's Russian for, "Quit being bitchy and get back to work." In reality it's a working morale trip where they take you out of work for the day and let you do something fun but pay you anyway. Pretty sweet deal for sure. There's a few different items of interest involved with Boondoggles, all of which are pretty exciting. There's Happy Camper which is Antarctic wilderness survival training, Room With A View which involves taking a snow mobile group out to the volcano Mount Erebus, and there's a handful of others. The first one I got to go on was Dive Tending.

Communication in McMurdo works in odd ways, being that despite the fact that it only takes 5 minutes to get ANYWHERE on station we still rely on email for most information exchanges. I'd like to think its because no one can remember anything for any amount of time because there is amnesia inducing drugs introduced to the powdered milk we consume but it's probably because email can't be argued with or something lame. Well the urgency of the email can be seen with what statement someone uses when they tell you they've sent you something. "Have you checked your email today?" Means it's something that can wait. "When was the last time you've checked your email?" Is more time sensitive and should be checked within the hour. "What are you doing? Can it wait until you check your email?" Means, "Go check that shit right now!"

I got all of these one day from my supervisor. I didn't know the different meanings of these things at this point so I kept putting it off. It was kind of cool that I did so I wouldn't be thinking about it all day because it was to tell me I was going Dive Tending the next morning! Hurray! It was an official email detailing my day of what I would be doing, where and when it would happen and all other bits of information needed for this day to be awesome.

I woke up, dressed warm and headed to the Diving Shack to meet the dudes I'd be kicking it with for the day. My supervisor made it very clear that I shouldn't show up late because the guys are very punctual and wouldn't accept tardiness. I will admit, I got a little confused as to where this building was so I showed up a little late but she was over-exaggerating entirely (I'm calling you out Jess Palen). I showed up about 7 minutes late, short of breath, fully geared, and over-apologetic. The three guys gave me that look you give new people who are freaking out and said, "It's cool, we actually are just getting geared up. You can toss your stuff over there, it might be a while." We probably sat around for another 20 minutes talking while they put on their wet suits and whatnots.

There was Andrew, Rory, and Rob who were taking me out to the sea ice to do a little underwater frolicking. All three guys were incredibly nice and very talkative. We all got along immediately and had a good time cracking jokes and asking questions to get to know one another. It's always surprising when you meet scientists because they have such a reputation surrounding them even though there are many different kinds of science. People often forget that scientists are regular people with a title and thorough education on a precise subject. These guys were cool.

I stole this photo from the internet because it's way better.

Once the crew was stocked and ready to go, we jumped into a Pisten Bully and started down the icy road. We drove straight out onto the ice at a roaring 8 mph so it took a little while but once we got there it was quite a sight. There was a little shack that had been thrown out onto the ice where we were expected to conduct SCIENCE! The shack was about 10X15 feet and had a sturdy door, which was good because the winds were kickin'. Inside, there was a small stove, a floor made of ice, and a hole that may have been 5 feet in diameter but about 12 feet deep (roughly). The guys and I loaded in the equipment and they told me about the arduous task of dropping their rope ladder into the water once they were in and periodically scooping ice from the top of the water so it won't freeze over. I helped them get their gear on and secured their gaskets and whatnot and they all sat, flippers towards the water.

They dropped in one at a time and left me for about 30 minutes to do whatever so I took some photos and a couple videos and felt how cold the water was. At a random moment one of the guys popped out of the water and began talking about what was down there. Apparently it typically incredibly beautiful everywhere under the ice EXCEPT for the one spot where we were. The coolest thing they had photographed was a sea cucumber and extracted some sort of crustacean. After reloading the equipment we went back to McMurdo Station and the adventure ended where it began but with high spirits and a few new friends.

Hut 10: Where Restraint Is Like Your Shoes, Left At The Door. A.K.A. Knuck-Tats

“I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs.”
― Andy Warhol

After getting settled into a proper work routine and facing the exhaustion of working nearly 60 hour work weeks, the need of a good time was beginning to become more apparent, not only with me but with my coworkers. So the nearing of one of our coworker's birthday was quite the pleasant event to look admirably to the future. With the paperwork filed and anticipation high we prepped ourselves for a night at Hut 10.

The Magical Time Machine Hut 10:
There are many things that can be found around station that are both entertaining and time consuming; but nothing comes close to the wonders that lie within the walls of Hut 10. This is a space primarily reserved for the most important of Distinguished Visitors (D.V.'s) of the likes of Ex-Mr. President William Jefferson (Bill) Clinton. It is essentially the only separated "house" in McMurdo Station. All of the other building are dormitories or work centers of some sort. Hut 10 has it's own plumbing system with working sinks, showers, and toilets. There are about 3 bedrooms including a master bedroom with a King-sized bed set up. There is a living room with a big screen and couches, a dining area with a table that can seat roughly 10 people, and a kitchen with everything you need to make food for said 10 possible people. It's a cozy little spot that all of us would LOVE to have for an entire season.

When we are not entertaining the likes of the honorable Billiam Clinton in this lovely home it can be "rented" by anyone in the community for a day/night. The people in the Rec department keep a list of all of the people who have requested Hut 10 for what night and why. It has to be approved by the station manager and various supervisors but once it's yours it's a wonderful feeling.

At this point you can plan fun events that involve the three d's: dinner, drinks, and dancing. Of course, it's always fun to make a theme for the night. Costumes are ALWAYS encouraged! Sometimes people have certain viewing events where they watch Arrested Development, eat frozen bananas, and take sips of hot ham water "With just a smack of ham!" (This actually happened one night. Big ups Grace Graham).

So back to the story of our first proper Hut 10 party.

It was Morgan's birthday, we just finished work, and we were all returning home to get dressed and ready for the night. My roommate, Sarah Leonetti, and I were extremely excited to finally do something social with the people we were becoming close friends with. Once we were ready we walked to Hut 10, excited for our first chance to see our friends outside of work with only the slightest of nerves. Upon entering we found a mish-mash of various workers from the Galley and Jano-Land talking and sipping on their beverage of choice. We were greeted with smiles as we shed our coats and shoes at the door, gave a fine happy birthday to Morgan, and then stood around awkwardly making bits of small talk with those who were around.
After a while, people began to loosen up and there was laughter from wall to wall in Hut 10. Being the person of importance that day, we wanted to know what Morgan wanted to do and she requested that we played a board game or two.
We first played a simplified version  of Taboo which was a lot of fun and encouraged more joy and laughter within the group. Afterwards, we found a Jenga set that had all of it's pieces so we set it up and began our attempts at stacking the tower. Early on we discovered that most of the blocks had things written on them such as, "Take a drink." "Give a drink." or my favorite, "Slap somebody!" making for an interesting few rounds.

The skinny kid in the picture missing his shirt, rocking the amazing hair, and crushing Jenga one-handed is me.

At one point the tower loomed so high that it seemed to sway on it's own accord. It was Morgan's turn and after pulling her block the structure began to fall towards her and she pushed it with her torso and arms to regain it's position. She claimed "Birthday Save!" and left the blocks in disarray but still standing.
Something that no one expected was that the blocks were built higher and higher without falling. The blocks were so imperfectly placed that it balanced perfectly on it's own.
The game began to get so intense that the entire party was completely captivated by our attempts at removing and replacing blocks. After many breathless moments and screams of disbelief the structure finally found itself toppling over in my arms and across the floor around me.

I was missing my shoes, sock, and my shirt and I knelt in disbelief at what had happened to me. You could feel the room breathe a sigh of relief, unable to withstand much more of this spectacle. Following the sigh came hoots and hollers. Boos and claims of victory from the other participants. It was definitely the greatest game of Jenga played that I've ever seen/been a part of.

At this point we no longer needed games to have our fun. We abandoned them and simply danced and socialized on our own around the room. As various people left throughout the night, the party grew stronger despite their absence.

Before I really knew what was happening my hands were taken by two people with markers and I was told not to move. After a little giggling and scribbling I got my hands back and was told to make fists and place them side by side and show everyone. "Poop-Lick" was written across my knuckles and a roar of laughter came from the room. At this point I was explained the fine art of Knuck-Tats where two people take your hands (without discussion) and write a four letter word on each area of the finger between the knuckles. The likes of which may include: Shit-Fart, Lick-Nuts, or Slap-Dick (They're really never this coordinated).

I'm not sure why but clothes began to get swapped between the men and the women...pants in particular. And at some point we had an intermission without pants at all but did not last long due to the palpable awkwardness felt int he room due to the fact that we did not know each other well yet.

After we had our fill of dancing, humility, and singing "Happy Birthday" at sporadic intervals we decided that the night was old and, despite the laughter, we needed to leave. Understanding that we had an entire season to recreate nights like this made the departure simple and we left after rigorous cleaning and long good nights.

Understanding The Job Part 2 Jano Land

“I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.”
― Billy Joel

The life of a Janitor is quite a stellar event for everyone on station in my opinion. These are people who appear to be permanently happy, fun, and extremely contagious.
Janos come in every shape, size, and personality. We have those solemn ones who greet you with a smile and a head nod but leave the initiation of conversation up to your discretion.
There are those found singing away the workday while working to sterilize the many doorknobs around station.
There are some which you don't even notice because they are quick on their feet and direct in what they are cleaning and have a list of other items on the docket leaving them no time to "dilly-dally."
And then there are those who have a hearty laugh that is heard through the halls. These are usually found dancing up the halls with mops and brooms or playing pranks on clueless victims.

A Day of the Fabled Jano:
Our Janos begin our day just like the vast majority of the workers at McMurdo Station, slow, quiet, and at 7:30am. At 7:25am you can usually point them out because they'll be the ones grabbing a cup of coffee with a pastry in their mouth making their way to the second floor to attend "Morning Meeting." Going to Morning Meeting is a great way to start the day if you ask me. You get to see friendly faces and discuss any odd events that may have happened in the last while since your last morning meeting such as what happened at the social gathering the previous night. My favorite days are when you're sitting next to someone who was up entirely too late the night before when someone walks in with a "Shit-Eating Grin." (As it's been known as). The person, upon entering, immediately looks at the person of concern and, with a slight hesitation for dramatic effect, asks something like, "How ya feeling today?" or "How much of last night do you remember?" or "You guys won't believe what this guy/girl did in the Galley!" This always starts the morning with a good, much needed laugh.

Once all of the possibly embarrassing stories are out of the way the actual stories begin. The Lead Janos are amazing people. They are constantly thinking of fun things to do for the plebeians who have to follow their orders. One thing they do for morning meeting is find fun little books that are silly in every way. For example, "People Who Deserve It" by Casey Rand. A book about crappy people in society who giggle on their cell phones while you're trying to tell them a funny story or eat with their mouths open, allowing you to smell the process of their digestion.
Another book is, "I wish Daddy didn't drink so much"by Judith Vigna. Where a young girl spends Christmas hoping her father didn't do such silly things like dressing up like Santa and spilling beer on her bedroom floor.

Once the fun is over we take a moment or two to actually discuss topics involved with work such as safety concerns, cleaning techniques, and actual work schedule for the day. It may seem like this is a good way to waste the first 1/2 hour of work everyday but it is crucial for morale and general happiness. Without starting the day out with laughter the entirety of station would suffer greatly.

So at this point we go to the Galley one more time to get our hydration on and refill our water bottles. Afterwards, we break off on our own to handle our various tasks. At the beginning of the day we all have our dormitories to clean. This is a large task and definitely takes a lot of the day. When we are done here it is usually time for lunch after our appropriate stretch break and break break. Once we are back on duty it is time to clean Highway 1. This is the busiest part of station because it leads to the Galley and on the way has various offices for Human Resources, Housing, and Recreation along with our small store. So naturally this place is going to get filthy with people tracking in mud and snow along with spilling coffee and food bits all over the floor. This is a fun event because it's the only part of the day where you are teamed up with other Janos. The four of you tag-team clean the two bathrooms, two hand sinks, and sweep and mop the floor with the assistance of the Zamboni.

The Zamboni:
This pleasant little vehicle makes a Janos life much easier but also a little more exciting. It looks like a regular zamboni got pregnant and aborted the baby a bit on the late side resulting in a miniature blue thing that with a handle that is too low for most people to operate and barely has the capacity to suck the dirt off the ground without spreading more of it around. But as they say, "It's the little victories." Yes it is small and does not do it's job well but damnit, it's a change up from a push broom! Plus, you can "ghost ride the whip" which means you let it gently pull itself forward while dancing around it to the music that you can only hear because you're wearing headphones.

After another stretch break and one more break break we come to the home stretch of the work day where we just start tackling work centers around station. At this time the other workers get the pleasure of running into random Janos around station. We walk into where they work and close down their bathrooms for cleaning. A lot of people get pissy about this but whatever, if it doesn't get cleaned now then it never will so dance around for a little and let us do our thing.

So now that you understand what we do work-wise, let's discuss the important part of things. Recreation!